What is the 'inner child'?

The term 'inner child' is often used by psychotherapists. It originated from Transactional Analysis created by Eric Bern in the middle of the previous century . Bern proposed the Structural Model of the 3 Ego States: Parent, Adult and Child. The Ego State is a person's mental state, which consists of how he or she is thinking, feeling and acting at any given moment. The Ego State is variable in time and intensity.

The Ego state of the Child means just the 'inner child'. It is the way a person thinks, feels and acts at any given moment, and which is the result of his past experiences when he himself was a child. The Child state is perhaps the most delicate and sensitive of mental states. Here are hidden our childish needs, desires, feelings and ways of dealing with the world and other people, who, when we were children, may not have been able to meet our needs.  

The 'inner child' shapes our 'inner self' and at the same time determines how we build relationships with others, because, after all, every child learns how to be in relationship through the relationship with their parents.

Below I want to introduce you to three types of 'inner child' that each of us can recognize in ourselves. We are talking about the Adapted Child, the Rebel Child and the Free Child.

Adapted Child

The characteristic of this Child is a high degree of submissiveness in relationships, but also caring about relationships, even at the expense of his needs.The Adapted Child feels that in relationships with others he/ she should give way, not fight for his/ her own, and therefore should not create conflict situations. They prefer to withdraw or adapt. They often do not know their own needs, because they focus mainly on the needs of others. They take care of their own needs in a passive way - if he/ she adjusts to others, chances are they will take care of his/ her needs.

Why is there so much Adapted Child in me?  

Probably someone who has a lot of the Adapted Child in him or her has had a domineering, prescriptive and often critical caregiver, or has been in a situation that during his or her childhood did not allow him or her to be a free-spirited child who doesn't have to worry about others or what others will say.

The Adapted Child had to grow up quickly and adapt to the demands of others or the situation.

At the same time, each of us has the Adapted Child within us who is cooperative, obeys the rules of law and knows how to behave in a group. These can be positive aspects of adaptation. Ultimately, each of us, wants to be accepted by others and belong to a group. This is where our Adapted Child helps us.

Comming Soon! You will learn about the Rebel Child and the Free Child in the second part of this article.